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Love. Maturity. Passion. Awe.
Lack: Depression, confusion, hard to maintain thought, difficulty with memory, fatigue, ect
Over: A lethargic attitude, inability to maintain muscle strain, slight blur of vision.
One thing that is surprisingly unique, is how I never noticed that the colours I see in my dreams to not directly correspond with the colours I see while I'm awake. I think that everything is normal when I sleep. Blues are blues, greens are greens, reds are reds... It's odd that I hadn't noticed earlier...
Have you ever thought someone was following you? Watch your dancing shadow in the asphalt and you can almost always spot a flaw that doesn't fit your silhouette. A walk a night can be refreshing. It can be mysterious and intense; full of the lingering atmosphere left by the absence of life. A walk in the dark can be frightening. It can be wrought with flickers of self portrayed demons. It can be a playground of emotions as well.
You'll come to enjoy yourself for a few steps. Next you'll hear a rustling. Perhaps a crackle. Maybe even see something move. Next comes the primal fear. You are programmed to preserve your life at all costs. In this situation, you do not know what lays in wait. You do not know whether or not your potential aggressor is natural or supernatural. Of some sort of medical experiment, or an escaped mad-man. You don't care what exactly is out there, you want to live.
Look into a dark window of a vacant home at night as you walk by. What do you see? Do you see your reflection? Or was that the dark shifting? What was in the dark to make it shift? Perhaps it was your imagination. It's always over reacting. Right? Nothing really stalks people from beyond the dark/light thresh hold, right?
It was just your imagination... right?
The way people handle change makes a world of difference when it counts. Whether they understand their actions or not doesn't change the fact that they are depressed about something that has happened either in the past, present, or future. So what is the solution? How does one go about self restoration? Some recommend detaching yourself from your ailment. Others prescribe less constructive criticisms, such as remarking that you should simply hold on as tight as you can and endure, or to stop complaining.
The problem will never go away. People will always be susceptible to helplessness feelings subsequent to confusion.
Whether you're enduring, on the winning side, or on the losing side -- Change will come. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. The key to cope comes with maturity. Mature and you will cope. Bring hope with happiness and you shall prosper.
I had a dream about running?
I used to feel pressured into following in my mother's foot steps She's always wanted me to. Never again... I have all I need right now. It's all mine, and I don't care how selfish I appear as long as I still have it in the end.
As long as she's happy, the world belongs to me and nothing can stand in my way.
With the exception of stomach pains...?
________________________________________
"Odin," sighs a woman surveying a war torn field, littered with fallen warriors, "but how will I know which one is suitable?"
She was met with a flock of ravens, who took flight into the east. The songs they sang were silent and not of this world. Though their beaks danced open and closed, tongues articulating with rapid succession, not a sound was emitted.
Ethereal guides who were often misleading.
With the blur they had arrived in, the ravens disappeared into the sun, leaving a trail of translucent feathers in their path; some darker, more solid than others, while some almost entirely invisible. Picking one up, the woman follows the thick trail of fallen feathers, stopping to check bodies along the way in hopes of finding an appropriate one.
"There are so many..." she pauses, "this one! ...no... he wont do."
The woman wandered the field for months on end, staying close to the trail, searching relentlessly for the shell. One day the woman came to a fork in the path with twelve individual feather trails leading off in separate directions. With hesitation and anxiety, the woman fell back onto her bottom, propping herself up by holding her arms out-stretched behind her, palms flat on the dirt.
"Why must you make it so difficult, Odin?" she exhales softly, "How am I supposed to know which one to take? And do they even have definitive ends?"
The silence didn't surprise her. She was accustomed to the one sided romance she shared with him.
Resting her head on her left shoulder and rolling it to back, her brass visage slid off. With a 'clunk' and 'ting', it rattled and rested in the dirt behind her. With a sway and swing of her head, the once hidden seething black hair fell out of the bun it was bound in and flagged in the wind.
"Never more may I trust Odin's judgement alone." a deep sigh, "I'll find one without his guidance..."
She was now alone in her decision. For her decision was as every other Valkyrie's.
________________________________________
Kaay, I didn't want to continue on, as history has shown the world what happened soon after. Pretty late right now, forgive mistakes with that in mind.
Maybe I'll just write everything I do there here? No... That would ruin her surprise...
I'll do an entry every other day, seeing as every day isn't working out at all.
| That Personality Test :: Your Results | ||
| The latest personality test from ThatSurveySite... now featuring more and better questions than ever! | ||
| Emotional (44%) | [..........|.........] | Logical (56%) |
| Concerned about self (58%) | [........||..........] | Concerned about others (42%) |
| Atheist (98%) | [||||||||||..........] | Religious (2%) |
| Loner (40%) | [..........||........] | Dependent (60%) |
| Laid-back (74%) | [.....|||||..........] | Driven (26%) |
| Traditional (35%) | [..........|||.......] | Rebel (65%) |
| Impetuous (40%) | [..........||........] | Organized (60%) |
| Engineering mind (51%) | [....................] | Artistic mind (49%) |
| Cynical (69%) | [......||||..........] | Idealist (31%) |
| Follower (44%) | [..........|.........] | Leader (56%) |
| Introverted (60%) | [........||..........] | Extroverted (40%) |
| Conservative (39%) | [..........||........] | Liberal (61%) |
| Logical (21%) | [..........||||||....] | Romantic (79%) |
| Uninterested (13%) | [..........|||||||...] | Sexual (87%) |
| Insecure (49%) | [....................] | Confident (51%) |
| Selective (95%) | [.|||||||||..........] | Tolerant (5%) |
| Pessimistic (80%) | [....||||||..........] | Optimistic (20%) |
| Principled (37%) | [..........|||.......] | Pragmatic (63%) |
| Tolerant (10%) | [..........||||||||..] | Opinionated (90%) |
| Humble (10%) | [..........||||||||..] | Elitist (90%) |
| Take the test! | ||
Rather
Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Morning.
Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Not anymore.
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
Yes.
Have you ever tattooed anyone's name on you?
No.
Ever found a dollar bill in a random place?
Yes.
Excited for anything this week?
A bit.
Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Question modern science and biology text books.
Where is your phone?
Beside my computer.
Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
Probably.
How many kids do you wanna have?
Maybe one.
What exact outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
Camo pants and a Maiden shirt. What's new?
What color is your hair?
Brown.
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Not yet...
Have you ever told anyone you love them?
I try to as much as possible.
Wanna get married?
Marriage is a religious binding. Maybe of another sort.
How many wives/husbands do you want?
One, if that.
Where would you like to live?
Somewhere cozy.
When was the last time you laughed?
A little while ago.
How many beds did you lay in this week?
Two.
Where can you see yourself being proposed to?
mmm
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Most likely. I'm attracted to competition.
Have you had alcohol this week?
Nope.
What do you currently hate?
Mood swings and childish unacceptance.
Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
Not without strongly suggesting otherwise.
What is your issue right now?
Bad memories.
Was yesterday better than today?
Yes.
Do you like anyone?
Do you prefer to call or texts?
Calls.
Do you have any pets?
Yes.
What were you doing at 12am last night?
Sleeping...
How do you feel right now?
Tired, eager.
How many places have you lived in?
Six or seven.
How many city/towns have you lived in?
Two.
Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Socks.
Are you a social person?
If I know I can control the crowd, yes.
What was the last thing you ate?
A Freezie.
Favorite color?
Blue.
Favorite TV show?
ehhh... I don't know anymore... Maybe Daily Planet or something? Dirty Jobs?
Do you have Justin Timberlake music on your iPod/mp3 player?
Shit no.
Where were you July 4th, 2002?
With her.
Do you like Oatmeal?
Sometimes.
What are the basic colors of your bedroom?
White... Beige...
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Crunches.
How many different people are in your text message inbox?
N/A
What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
Probably absolutely nothing.
Where is the last place you ate out at?
The Osaka?
Do you have a TV in your room?
Yes.
WHEN WALKING DOWN A ROAD:
__________________________
Do you count your steps?:
Most times.
Do you constantly look behind you to see if someone is following you?
All the time.
Do you try to step on all the cracks?:
I used to try and avoid them.
Do you even use the sidewalk?:
Yes...
Do you trip a lot?:
Only when there's a flaw in the ground where it abruptly changes.
Do you run into other people?:
Not often. Usually opposite.
Do you kick things that are in your path?:
If it's harmless and I'm playful; sure. If it's litter; no.
Do you look both ways before crossing the street?:
Yes.
ZOO:
__________________________
First off, have you ever been to a zoo?:
Yes.
What is your favorite exhibit?:
Wolves. The big cats.
Do you have a favorite zoo?:
Toronto I guess.
Have you ever been bitten by an animal in a zoo?:
No.
Do you feed the animals when you're not supposed to?:
I did once.
Do you buy tons of stuffed animals at the gift shops?:
No.
Do you think it's fair to keep animals locked up in cages?:
Considering that they're there for either:
A) population control,
B) zoology,
C) Profit.
I'm on the fence with this one.
MOVIES:
____________________
What was the last movie you saw in theaters?:
Prince Caspian.
Who did you see it with?:
Jessica.
Was it good?:
Was expecting more.
Do you usually get a drink/popcorn/snacks?:
Yes.
Have you ever brought your own drink/popcorn/snacks?:
Couples times.
Do you prefer to go in larger groups or smaller groups?:
What ever is cool. But don't disrupt my ability to watch the fucking movie or I'll to swat you.
Do you put your feet on the seats?:
If it's a near empty theatre.
Do you turn off your cell phone?:
N/A
Do you like previews, or do you find them annoying?:
Some are good, some are bad. It's where the theatres get their extra money.
Have you ever cried at the movies?:
No.
SCHOOLS:
__________________________
What is/was your favorite class?:
History.
Who is/was your favorite teacher?:
Van De Laar.
Have you ever thought about dropping out?:
Yes.
What is your least favorite class?:
Math.
Who is your least favorite teacher?:
Mrs. Plumpton.
Who do you sit with at lunch?:
Friends and Jessica.
What's your first class of the day?:
Careers.
Are your teachers absent often?:
Not mine.
Are YOU absent often?:
I was, very often.
Do you share a locker? If so, with who?:
Did with Jesse.
BOOKS:
__________________________
What is your favorite book?:
mmm... I'm rather in love with Werewolf SS. But believe it or not, Mein Kampf was a strangely enjoyable read.
Do you ever read biographies?:
Used to.
Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction?:
Depends on what's being presented in the novel.
Have you read all the Harry Potter books?:
No.
Do you even like reading?:
Yes.
What's the longest book you have read?:
Steven King's Insomnia.
Do you prefer to read out loud or in your head?:
Silently.
Do you buy bookmarks?:
No.
Do you prefer to buy your own books or borrow them from the library?:
Buy my own.
HOME:
__________________________
Where do you spend the majority of your time?:
With her.
Where is your computer located?:
Living room.
What is the biggest room in the house?:
Basement.
How many entrances do you have to get into your house?:
Two.
How many windows in your room?:
One.
Does the door to your room have a lock?:
No.
Do you have your own bathroom?:
No.
Do you have to share your room?:
No.
Do you have candles in your room?:
Yes.
Are your walls covered in posters?:
No.
How many mirrors are in your room?:
Two.
MUSIC:
__________________________
Favorite artist?:
Machinae Supremacy.
Favorite song at the moment?:
What are you listening to right this second?:
MaSu
What's a song that gets stuck in your head a lot?:
The last thing I hear.
Song you're sick of hearing?:
All of the songs on Much.
Do you sing along to songs a lot?:
Yeah.
Do you prefer to listen to loud or quiet music?:
Depends on it's genre.
How many songs are in your iTunes library?:
I don't know. Maybe a couple hundred if that.
Do you still own cassette tapes?:
Yes.
How many CDs do you own?:
Maybe 20 or so.
CELEBRITIES:
__________________________
Are there any celebrities that you absolutely love?:
No.
Are there any you love to hate?:
All of them. Here's something to help me portray my feelings.
Do you think Britney Spears is crazy?:
No.
How many kids do you think Brad and Angelina are going to have?:
Don't know, don't care.
TV:
_________________________
What's your absolute favorite show?:
I don't know. Dirty Jobs?
Do you like reality TV?:
No.
Do you watch the news often?:
Sometimes.
Any TV show you hate?:
Almost all of them.
Do you watch Dr.Phil?:
No.
Do you think Dr.Phil actually knows what he's talking about?:
No.
Do you have a favorite infomercial?:
No.
How about a favorite commercial?:
The car salesman doing the flashdance.
Do you tend to watch a lot of gameshows?:
No.
FEARS :
__________________________
Do you have arachnophobia?:
No.
Are you afraid of the dark?:
I love it.
What is your biggest fear?:
Tomorrow.
Do you have any fears that people think are totally ridiculous?:
Probably.
FAVORITES:
__________________________
Color?:
Blue.
Place to be?:
With her.
Board game?:
I don't know...
Animal?:
Shark.
Season?:
Winter.
Ice cream flavor?:
Doesn't matter...
Scent?:
Strawberry.
Food?:
Ukrainian.
A LITTLE ABOUT YOU:
__________________________
Name?:
Gary.
Eye color?:
Green.
Natural hair color?:
Brown.
Current hair color?:
Brown.
Age?:
18
Birthday?:
August 31st
Where did you attend elementary school?:
Many places... Glenstreet. Woodcrest. Some other places. Village Union. Gertrude Colpus.
Can you name all of your teachers throughout elementary school?:
No. I know many, but not willing to divulge.
What grade are you in now?:
12.
Do you have any siblings?:
Yes...
Do people consider you to be smart?:
The poker face tells them that the quiet ones will solve their problems.
Do you wear glasses/contacts?:
I should.
There have been countless instances where I can't get her off my mind. Everything I see and hear I can somehow relate back to her in one way or another. And it's not ridiculous either. I can do it realistically. We've shared so much together so far that almost every word conceivable has been spoken, thus striking me back to memories with her every time another word that corresponds well enough is spoken elsewhere. I'm very aware that people dislike hearing of others' happiness. I know they hate it when I gloat. When I become serious and describe what my true feelings are. They all hate it because they can never have it and they know I, no, we, have already obtained it. They'll never have this. Not even in their wildest dreams... Dreams... The prospective involuntary thoughts based on memory and pre-sleep activity... I'll get into that at a later date if I feel like divulging.
Three months... I want to reflect on my physical writings when our first year rolls around. So far I have 96 entries based on our relationship, not including these. I very much enjoy writing about her. Writing about our experiences thus far. Writing about our shared dreams and images. I've described my visions thoroughly... Gets me warm thinking about it.
There's no other person like her out there. Fuck them all. They just don't compare to her. None of them will. I'm completely prepared in sharing every last moment with her in my arms. The alternative is having no other in my arms. All or none.
I Love Her.
"Who's that?"
"Just a friend"
Go fuck yourself.
Nope. I savored it...
What was the last thing you heard?
Something on the tele and some Rammstein.
What is bothering you right now?
Nothing really right now. But I was rather disturbed at my mother's behaviour earlier in the day.
Do you think slavery was wrong?
mmm It's most recent mass-usage was out of era, in my opinion, but the world wouldn't have some of the more appealing structures without it.
Have you ever seen somebody get hit by a car?
Personally, no.
Who do you tell everything to?
Jessica. Myself...
Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom?
Yes.
Do you use big words?
I try to use the word that fits the most. Among the common man I'm forced to speak and mimic their obscure ideals to seek refuge by playing coy.
Does your head hurt?
Nope. Unless you're....
Favorite number?
1337
When was the last time you saw your Father?
His viewing.
Name a lyric from the song you're listening to?
Seht ihr mich?
Versteht ihr mich?
Fühlt ihr mich?
Hört ihr mich?
Könnt ihr mich hören?
Wir hören dich
Könnt ihr mich sehen?
Wir sehen dich
Könnt ihr mich fühlen?
Wir fühlen dich
Ich versteh euch nicht
Do you use your friends?
Quite the opposite until recently.
Do you fight with your parents often?
Once a day maybe.
Where is the shirt you're wearing from?
Sears.
Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace?
Unless I want her to get even more upset, it would be wise for me to do so.
Do you know anyone with cancer?
Not personally.
Do you have any picture frames in your room?
Yes.
Where did you spend Christmas?
My home.
Ever smoked a cigarette?
Nope. A puff maybe.
Do you think the whole day is better if you smoke pot?
I'm going to shoot you.
Do you get good grades?
Not usually. But fuck you all, 80+ next year.
Have you ever been intoxicated twice in one week?
No.
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
No.
Does a kiss make you feel better?
Absolutely... Always does.
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
Nope.
Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
Before.
Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
No >.>
Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
Permanent.
Have you ever had stitches?
Minor.
How long ago did you hug someone?
Couple of hours ago.
Do you like the Red Sox or Yankees?
I prefer the Red Sox > Yankees.
Whats your favorite cereal?
Some nature brand lmfao. Can't remember but it had an amazing fucking combination of nuts and honey...
Have you ever had an oreo with peanut butter on it?
You sick prick?
Are you more of a coffee or tea drinker?
More-so tea these days.
Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
No. It's a symbol that the shoes' previous owner has been murdered.
Have you ever climbed up a water tower?
No.
Do you dream in black and white?
Usually in colour. I see more colours when I sleep too.
Do you talk in your sleep?
Not usually..
Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Every time I lay eyes on her.
What does the 10th text message in your inbox say?
Newgrounds top 5 portal entries.
Can you recite the alphabet backwards?
No.
How do you feel about life right now?
It's there.
Would you ever get someones name tattooed on you?
No.
Do you feel guilty?
All the time...
What do you want to get accomplished today/tonight?
Find a fucking harlequin crest. >_> OH, UH? Real life... nothing :)
Who were your last 3 texts from?
Live journal. Fuck your text message system, bitches.
Where was your default picture taken?
MSN: @ School
LJ: Off the shores of the Icarian sea? BUT WHERE IS HERACLES?!
what is your middle name?
Kenneth
Your current job status?
Unemployed
What is your current mood?
Content.
What color shirt are you wearing?
Green.
Who has the ability to hurt you most?
Jessica...
If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
Yes.
Where was the last place, out of town, that you went to?
Home Depot >.>
Ever had a near death experience?
Every last person on Earth has. Take a look around and maybe you'd notice it more. ;)
Something you do a lot?
Think and analyse.
Do you have a fondness for gnomes?
No?
Who can you tell EVERYTHING to?
Jessica.
Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Not sure. I think Rachel does...
When was the last time you cried?
Some time last week.
Where are you right now?
In the living room.
If you could have one super power what would it be?
The power of ultimate persuasion.
What is your favorite color?
Blue.
What is one thing that annoys you on TV?
The intolerable and blatantly deliberate name changes that firearms undergo on the news. A hi-point isn't a fucking M129, assholes.
Do you still like kiddie movies?
Some Disney movies.
What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Nothing.
Do you speak any other language?
Almost fluent German and moderate Italian. Lots of parts of other languages but cannot maintain proper sentence structure with them.
What's your favorite smell?
... :P
Cherry. YOU FUCKING PERVERT.
Describe your life in one word.
"Wow."
Have any tattoos?
Never.
What are you looking forward to the most?
Seeing her maybe tomorrow.
What are you thinking about right now?
"Her."
What should you be doing right now?
Probably something more constructive than a meme.
Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
My mother.
What are you listening to?
Trying to enrich this, so by default I'm listening to it.
Do you like working in the yard?
Absolutely. It's extremely fulfilling.
Do you act differently around the person you like?
Very. I'm very competitive with anyone else.
What is your natural hair color?
Brown.
Whats your favorite place in the world?
Anywhere with her.
What is the holiday closest to your b-day?
Not sure, but Princess Diana died on my birthday and it's not too far from 9/11 either...
What is your dream car?
None, really.
Has anyone sang or played for you personally?
A whole orchestra... Phantom of the Opera.
Have you broken a bone or had stitches?
Minor stitches, no broken bones.
Anyone on your mind right now?
Always... <3
What an eventful day!
She is my life. She is my dreams. She is my inspiration. She is my life blood. She is my soul. She is my partner. She is my lover. She is my mate. She is my friend. She holds my heart. She brings me joy. She achieves great wonders.
She's wonderful. She's intelligent. She's cultured. She's beautiful. She's able. She's dependent. She's reliable. She's kind. She's sweet. She's understanding. She's patient. She's willing. She's adventurous. She's playful. She's mature. She's aware. She's realistic. She's adorable. She's... a part of my life?
She's magnificent.
She knows no boundaries...
